Take a cab after 2am. Go up and down the subway stairs quickly and politely. Get some good boots. Don’t have dinner in Little Italy, have it at Rubirosa in Nolita. Walk around Chinatown and go to Tasty Dumpling. Sometimes, skip brunch. Easy on the caffeine and the whiskey. Dress as crazy as you like. If your apartment doesn’t have a deadbolt, tell your landlord you need one. Use Seamless. Buy a (p)leather jacket and black pants. Look cute humans in the eye. Don’t get a dog if you still love going out a lot. If you want to meet somebody, go to all your friend’s birthday parties. Or bring a sense of humor, steely nerves and an OkCupid account. Keep a month’s rent in your savings account if possible. Save money, damnit. Don’t get a credit card maximum you can’t afford. Don’t go to the doctor on a weekend. Learn how to make cheap meals. Try not to become one of those people who talks about how great New York City is all the time. Don’t feel weird if you don’t like NYC that much. Prepare for a very love, very hate relationship. Don’t listen to your headphones so loud you can’t hear somebody approaching you. Visit different boroughs whenever you have the chance. BE SMART.

Get a Netflix account. Don’t worry about staying in some nights. Making friends is hard but possible: be friendly and don’t break lunch plans. Get a library card. Spend an entire day in the Union Square Barnes & Noble. If a manicure is more than 10 dollars, NOPE. Treat yourself to a really, really good restaurant.. I like Perilla. Go to DiFara’s. Go to Spumoni Gardens. Go to a bagel shop anywhere and don’t toast your bagel. Get ready for the subway to enrage you. If you are on the subway, be a good human being and move as far away from the doors as possible. Also, give your seat up for old ladies. Now’s the time to try out red lipstick and a new hairstyle. Keep your Iphone in your pocket. Look for sample sales. If you love an apartment but it’s 20 minutes away from a subway, think about it. If you love an apartment but it’s 200 above your budget, think about it. Call your family sometimes. Sign up for Lifebooker, Scoutmob, and Groupon: get bang for your buck. Find a friend with a car and take day trips out of the city. Bring hand sanitizer. Take cash out. Don’t take cash out at random ATM if your bank is close by. Go to bed early sometimes. Take long walks. Crowded bars are probably not worth it. Ooze confidence. Keep your wits. Don’t be so romantic. Don’t be so cynical. Be nice. SAVE MONEY.

Learn to push a bit. Learn to cry in public. Learn to be lonely. Learn to get used to awe. Learn to love the little things. Learn to get knocked down. Learn to get up.

Hold onto yer butt. Expect anything.