fin teater i hollywood
lite från sista tiden








what's life??? /

2241

- druckit kokande te och bränt bort ungefär alla smaklökar på min tunga
- spillt kokande vatten över benet och handen
- doppat tummen i kokande vatten



- ätit ananas och fått stickig tunga och stickiga läppar
- skrivit ut alla mina dikter och satt i en pärm
- märkt att jag skriver väldigt många dikter. hundratals till och med
- ätit mycket choklad, men det är gott och jag blir glad
- saknat alla gamla vänner, eller kanske är de bara vänner, jag knappt pratar med alls längre. sorgligt
- tänkt mycket på framtiden och fått små tankar om vad jag möjligtvis vill utbilda mig till men sedan blivit ledsen eftersom jag inte har talangen som krävs
- skrivit ut alla bilder jag sett på internet som ger mig lyckorus
- tejpat fast en bild av harry styles på min sänggavel mest för att. han är ju världens finaste
- sovit till klockan tre på eftermiddagarna på lördagar och till klockan fem på morgnarna på tisdagar
- njutit av vårsolen och fågelkvittret för att det är alldeles underbart att vi snart är hos sommaren igen
what's life??? /

2118

what's life??? /

1730

När jag kommer hem efter en lång dag är energin i mig fullständigt slut. Jag nödäter russin medan jag finslipar på det sista med hemuppgiften. Sen säger både min kropp och hjärna emot och jag somnar hopkurad i sängen. Detta är mitt liv.
what's life??? /

(utkast från 13 sep)

i’m really sad and ugly and i just want to have fun and be happy i just want life to be fucking good you know? why is everyone having more fun than me??? why do i feel good during the day but then feel like my entire world is caving in at night??????? i suck. i want to believe things will improve/get more exciting but what if i just feel increasingly lonely and pathetic
why can’t i be like them?? ??? what makes me different/worse? why do i suck
is it stupid to think things will pick up/get better ?? what if things get better but i’m still me and i’m still woefully inadequate and thoroughly unhappy what happens then what do i do
what's life??? /

lol life :-)

Personality Disorder Test Results
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Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com
what's life??? /

20:11

what's life??? /

09:42

This weekend I watched a movie with my crush. The ending scene of the movie was that stereotypical rom-com ending with the leading man making some grand gesture and telling the girl this big, mushy speech before kissing her.
I snorted when the credits came in and my crush asked me what I found so funny. I told him, "I find the whole grand gesture thing stupid. I don't know, if it were me, I'd rather he just say, 'hey Alexandra, I fucking love you' and then kiss me."
He was silent after that, and then he stood to leave because it was late. For a moment I thought I'd said something weird and turned him off, but when we'd said our goodbyes and I'd turned to go back into the house, he grabbed my arm to pull me to him and he said, "Hey Alexandra, I fucking love you."
And then he kissed me.
I still can't get the smile off my face.
what's life??? /

21:01

going to write a self help book called “here do you want some candy you can take 4 and eat the two that you like and then give the other two to someone else and make them happy” bc that’s the most profound thing i’ve said all day and probably all my life
what's life??? /

18:55

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21:39

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19:08

would anybody make me some artwork to hang up in my room? i think it would be cute n nice to be able to decorate with and admire things that strangers have made bc my walls are very naked
idc what it is, sketches or lil paintings or modern art or anything else you want to make and would be kind enough to send to me!!! if you feel like it contact me and i’ll give u my address xoxo
what's life??? /

00:03

diary entry, september 12 (materialism)
i want skirt overalls
i want real English tea
i want an old plastic lunchbox
i want someone to read this all one day
i want to wear lipstick tomorrow
i want to love?
i want to marry chandler
I want to paint my nails
i want to kiss a girl
i want to FUCK a boy
i want to go back to my childhood
i want a mean boy to fuck me and leave big pretty bruises all over my body
i want to break my neck
i want to fuck Harry Styles
i want anyone to fuck me
i want to be fucked up
fucked over
fucked sideways
what's life??? /

02:06

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19:08

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20:54

what's life??? /

new orleans

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san antonio

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04:28

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