1827
date: 2014-01-26 time: 18:27:19
Jag är hon som aldrig går i jeans, hon som samlar på muminmuggar och lägenhetsdrömmar och tänker alldeles för mycket på allting. Hon som blir lycklig av fina förpackningar i matvarubutiken, hon som fullkomligt älskar julen och som nästan konstant är stressad. Hon som intresseras av musik, böcker, konst, fotografi, design och minst tio saker till och gärna skulle syssla med det konstant om inte brist på tid samt en konstant rädsla för att göra fel satte stopp för det. Hon som tar studenten om två och ett halvt år, är skoltröttare än någonsin och inte har en aning om vad hon ska göra när ett liv tar slut och ett annat tar vid. Hon som aldrig är lyckligare än på konserter och uppfylls totalt av känslan när hon får se sina favoritpersoner sjunga på scenen. Hon som periodvis är besatt av saker; just nu växter, rostat bröd och pennor mot papper, och skjuter upp allting hon borde göra alldeles för länge. Hon vars liv har förändrats totalt under det senaste året, hon vars bästa vänner utgör hennes helhet och det sällskap hon allra helst omger sig med och hon som är alldeles stormande, blixtrande förälskad i någon som inte vet att jag existerar. Hon som är en ensamvarg, som älskar plockgodis, resor och porslin och som skrattar alldeles för högt i alldeles för olämpliga situationer. Hon som helst inte tar för stora initiativ i skräcken att verka jobbig och påträngande och hon som åtar sig uppgift efter uppgift med viljan om att utföra dessa helt perfekt. Hon som gärna i timmar går omkring i bokaffärer, avskyr konflikter och skriver långa listor. Hon som bor i en by och längtar bort, hon som önskar att hon kunde våga prova på nya saker, hon som älskar secondhand och hon som sällan lyssnar på annat än band av olika slag. Hon som nästan ständigt är pank, nästan alltid är hemma, sover knappt fem timmar om natten, vill för mycket men vågar för lite och lever för att leva. Hon som räds för att publicera detta inlägg ifall hon skrivit för mycket om någonting alternativt har missat någonting annat livsviktigt; hon som heter Alexandra. Hon som är jag.
deep thoughts and unpopular opinions // 0 comments
1550
date: 2014-01-26 time: 15:51:07
April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
poetry // 0 comments
1546
date: 2014-01-26 time: 15:46:54
fall asleep on a flower petal
i want to cancel
myself out
ur dull,
don't talk to me
poetry // 0 comments
1541
date: 2014-01-26 time: 15:41:38
REMEMBER:
1.
plants can't always bloom where they're planted (so you shouldn't be expected to).
2.
in order to grow, each plant needs unique conditions of soil, sunlight, and water. each plant needs room to spread its roots and sprout.
3.
humans are similar in this way to plants, but humans have an advantage. humans can largely control their environment.
4.
so bloom where you're planted - or don't - and it's okay if you can't.
5.
cut your hair, rearrange your room, move across the country. seek closure, seek help. find what and where and how works for you. bloom where you can thrive.
lists // 0 comments
raw food chocolate balls
date: 2014-01-26 time: 15:20:24
- 2 dl naturella nötter, bland annat cashewnötter, mandlar och valnötter
- 2 dl dadlar, låt dem vara i kylen en stund innan du ska använda dem
- 3/4 dl kakao, lite vatten och kokos att rulla bollarna i
Mixa nötterna, ta sedan ut kärnorna ur dadlarna, (det är mycket enklare att ta ur dem när de varit i kylen en stund). Mixa sedan nötterna och dadlarna tillsammans och häll i kakaon. Jag behövde även en skvätt vatten för att få en bättre konsistens. Rulla dem sedan i kokos.
things i like // 0 comments
bold what's true:
date: 2014-01-26 time: 02:39:38
it’s night right now
there’s something else you should be doing at the moment
you ate chicken today
you are lactose intolerant
there’s a nearby tv on
you get along with your neighbors
twilight is a horrible series
you’re hungry right now
you have worked out today
running a mile sounds awful
you have a job
you love to bake christmas cookies
your parents are still together
you woke up before 8 this morning
baths are better than showers
you are 5’5” or shorter
you hate british accents
victoria’s secret is a good store
cats are better than dogs
the 90’s sucked
your cell phone is right next to you
your favorite color is either blue or purple
your hair is short
you are by yourself right now
the last thing you drank was water
you’re in your pj’s right now
your hair color is natural
fred from youtube is annoying
you don’t drink soda
there’s at least 20$ in your wallet
it’s cold out
orange juice is better than apple juice
you love someone right now
video games are awesome
your sheets are white
you have read works by shakespeare before
you’re fat
you’ve been professionally diagnosed with a psychological disorder
you know someone in the hospital right now
you’ve showered today
you know someone who has beaten cancer
sneakers are your favorite shoes to wear
chocolate is better than vanilla
you’re allergic to peanuts
you’ve never been to new york
you’ve never been on a varsity sports team
you want to go to europe
you’re using a laptop right now
plastic surgery is a good idea
vanilla is the best scent a girl can wear
you’ve made yourself throw up
you’ve cheated on someone before
you have a broken heart at the moment
your friends do drugs
school is too early
your nails have nail polish on them right now
you’re italian
you have a tan right now
you’ve been on a diet before
you shop in plus sized clothing stores
hot topic is scary
there are socks on your feet right now
you’ve used a hair straightener
shopping online is easier than shopping in an actual store
you’re in verizon’s network
cheesecake is delicious
your bmi falls into the overweight category
you have gotten your hair cut in the past month
your birthday is within the next 2 months
you’ve been rejected
comedies are better than action films
math is the best subject
you are fluent in more than one language
you love greek food
you consider yourself a picky eater
you have more than 3 pillows on your bed
you live with your parents
you’re happy right now
you are a high school graduate
you have a pet cat
you were born before april 5th, 1991
you have brown hair
you have blue eyes
you last name is longer than 5 letters long
you are in a relationship
you can count to 20 in another language
you have studied a foreign language
you voted in the 2008 presidential election
you own a vehicle that is older than a 2004
you have worked 3rd shift
you have worked in a fast food restaurant
you drove somewhere that was further than a half hour away today
you live in new jersey
you live in montana
you live in pennsylvania
your last name begins with a ‘m’
your middle name begins with a ‘c’
your first name begins with a ‘s’
you are older than 19
you are younger than 16
you are an only child
your parents are divorced
you have more than one sibling
you are an aquarius
you are a vegetarian
you have a gym membership
you are in the military
you have a relative in the military
you have been to canada
you have been to mexico
you have been to europe
you are currently enrolled in college/university
you have done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
you have braces
you wear contact lenses
you have a tattoo on your ankle
you have a tattoo on your wrist
you have a tattoo on your lower back
you have a tattoo on your upper arm
you have a lip piercing
you have a tongue piercing
you have your nipples pierced
you have your cartilage pierced
you have curly hair
you have received flowers from someone in the last 2 months
you are engaged
you are married
you have children
you are an aunt or uncle
your bedroom walls are blue
your bedspread is red
your bedroom carpet is beige
you have been out to eat at a sit-down restaurant in the last week
you have been drunk in the past 24 hours
you have lost your virginity before you turned 15
you are bisexual
you watch scrubs
you watch jon & kate plus 8
you watch american idol
you have been to the movies within the last month
you have cursed in front of your grandparents
you had a lunch box with a cartoon character on it when you were little
you actually pay attention to politics
you are still waiting for your first kiss
you have kissed someone within the last week
you have kissed three or more people this year
you would kiss the last person you kissed again
you were told you looked cute today
you were hugged today
your best friend is the opposite sex
you have paid more than $100 on one item of clothing
you had a date to prom
you are a good speller
you are always on time
you believe in karma
you have done something illegal within the last 24 hours
you have thrown up within the last 6 months
you have ridden an elevator within the last 3 days
you have spent the night at someone else’s house within the last 2 weeks
you have been out of the country within the last year
you love chinese food
you love italian food
you love mexican food
you love country music
you love rap
you love hip hop
you love punk rock
you love hard rock
you love metal
you love classic rock
you love bluegrass
you love oldies
you love techno
you love instrumental music
you have taken pictures of yourself just because you were bored
you know someone younger than 10 who passed away
you have been in a car wreck
you have had stitches
you have a parent who is a teacher
you have a checking account
you have a debit card
you have a currently have a $2 bill in your possession
you have dated someone who was 2 years younger than you
you have dated someone who was 2 years older than you
you have broke up with someone for someone else
you have cheated on someone
you have been cheated on
you are catholic
you are mormon
you are buddhist
you are agnostic
you wish at 11:11
you have had your current job for more than 3 months
you have had your heart broken
you broke someone else’s heart
you felt bad about it
you have an aunt karen
you have an uncle bill
you have a cousin sarah
you have a cousin adam
you have worked with a danielle
you have ridden in a car with a stephen
you have hugged a tiffany
you have kissed a blake
you have had class with a david
you have had a crush on an emily
you have dated a derek
you have been neighbors with a hannah
you have done something just for the fact that you were old enough to
you have been to a cemetary at midnight
you have been a vampire for halloween
you have been a witch for halloween
you have been a pumpkin for Halloween
you have stayed up for 48 hours straight
you have been to walmart within the last 3 days
you own a pair of scrubs
you own a cowboy hat
you own a leather coat
you are missing someone right now
you have been let down recently
you have had someone you thought you could trust betray you
you would rather have a one-night stand than a relationship
you would rather win $500 from the lottery, than guest on a game show
you have met someone famous
there’s something else you should be doing at the moment
you ate chicken today
you are lactose intolerant
there’s a nearby tv on
you get along with your neighbors
twilight is a horrible series
you’re hungry right now
you have worked out today
running a mile sounds awful
you have a job
you love to bake christmas cookies
your parents are still together
you woke up before 8 this morning
baths are better than showers
you are 5’5” or shorter
you hate british accents
victoria’s secret is a good store
cats are better than dogs
the 90’s sucked
your cell phone is right next to you
your favorite color is either blue or purple
your hair is short
you are by yourself right now
the last thing you drank was water
you’re in your pj’s right now
your hair color is natural
fred from youtube is annoying
you don’t drink soda
there’s at least 20$ in your wallet
it’s cold out
orange juice is better than apple juice
you love someone right now
video games are awesome
your sheets are white
you have read works by shakespeare before
you’re fat
you’ve been professionally diagnosed with a psychological disorder
you know someone in the hospital right now
you’ve showered today
you know someone who has beaten cancer
sneakers are your favorite shoes to wear
chocolate is better than vanilla
you’re allergic to peanuts
you’ve never been to new york
you’ve never been on a varsity sports team
you want to go to europe
you’re using a laptop right now
plastic surgery is a good idea
vanilla is the best scent a girl can wear
you’ve made yourself throw up
you’ve cheated on someone before
you have a broken heart at the moment
your friends do drugs
school is too early
your nails have nail polish on them right now
you’re italian
you have a tan right now
you’ve been on a diet before
you shop in plus sized clothing stores
hot topic is scary
there are socks on your feet right now
you’ve used a hair straightener
shopping online is easier than shopping in an actual store
you’re in verizon’s network
cheesecake is delicious
your bmi falls into the overweight category
you have gotten your hair cut in the past month
your birthday is within the next 2 months
you’ve been rejected
comedies are better than action films
math is the best subject
you are fluent in more than one language
you love greek food
you consider yourself a picky eater
you have more than 3 pillows on your bed
you live with your parents
you’re happy right now
you are a high school graduate
you have a pet cat
you were born before april 5th, 1991
you have brown hair
you have blue eyes
you last name is longer than 5 letters long
you are in a relationship
you can count to 20 in another language
you have studied a foreign language
you voted in the 2008 presidential election
you own a vehicle that is older than a 2004
you have worked 3rd shift
you have worked in a fast food restaurant
you drove somewhere that was further than a half hour away today
you live in new jersey
you live in montana
you live in pennsylvania
your last name begins with a ‘m’
your middle name begins with a ‘c’
your first name begins with a ‘s’
you are older than 19
you are younger than 16
you are an only child
your parents are divorced
you have more than one sibling
you are an aquarius
you are a vegetarian
you have a gym membership
you are in the military
you have a relative in the military
you have been to canada
you have been to mexico
you have been to europe
you are currently enrolled in college/university
you have done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
you have braces
you wear contact lenses
you have a tattoo on your ankle
you have a tattoo on your wrist
you have a tattoo on your lower back
you have a tattoo on your upper arm
you have a lip piercing
you have a tongue piercing
you have your nipples pierced
you have your cartilage pierced
you have curly hair
you have received flowers from someone in the last 2 months
you are engaged
you are married
you have children
you are an aunt or uncle
your bedroom walls are blue
your bedspread is red
your bedroom carpet is beige
you have been out to eat at a sit-down restaurant in the last week
you have been drunk in the past 24 hours
you have lost your virginity before you turned 15
you are bisexual
you watch scrubs
you watch jon & kate plus 8
you watch american idol
you have been to the movies within the last month
you have cursed in front of your grandparents
you had a lunch box with a cartoon character on it when you were little
you actually pay attention to politics
you are still waiting for your first kiss
you have kissed someone within the last week
you have kissed three or more people this year
you would kiss the last person you kissed again
you were told you looked cute today
you were hugged today
your best friend is the opposite sex
you have paid more than $100 on one item of clothing
you had a date to prom
you are a good speller
you are always on time
you believe in karma
you have done something illegal within the last 24 hours
you have thrown up within the last 6 months
you have ridden an elevator within the last 3 days
you have spent the night at someone else’s house within the last 2 weeks
you have been out of the country within the last year
you love chinese food
you love italian food
you love mexican food
you love country music
you love rap
you love hip hop
you love punk rock
you love hard rock
you love metal
you love classic rock
you love bluegrass
you love oldies
you love techno
you love instrumental music
you have taken pictures of yourself just because you were bored
you know someone younger than 10 who passed away
you have been in a car wreck
you have had stitches
you have a parent who is a teacher
you have a checking account
you have a debit card
you have a currently have a $2 bill in your possession
you have dated someone who was 2 years younger than you
you have dated someone who was 2 years older than you
you have broke up with someone for someone else
you have cheated on someone
you have been cheated on
you are catholic
you are mormon
you are buddhist
you are agnostic
you wish at 11:11
you have had your current job for more than 3 months
you have had your heart broken
you broke someone else’s heart
you felt bad about it
you have an aunt karen
you have an uncle bill
you have a cousin sarah
you have a cousin adam
you have worked with a danielle
you have ridden in a car with a stephen
you have hugged a tiffany
you have kissed a blake
you have had class with a david
you have had a crush on an emily
you have dated a derek
you have been neighbors with a hannah
you have done something just for the fact that you were old enough to
you have been to a cemetary at midnight
you have been a vampire for halloween
you have been a witch for halloween
you have been a pumpkin for Halloween
you have stayed up for 48 hours straight
you have been to walmart within the last 3 days
you own a pair of scrubs
you own a cowboy hat
you own a leather coat
you are missing someone right now
you have been let down recently
you have had someone you thought you could trust betray you
you would rather have a one-night stand than a relationship
you would rather win $500 from the lottery, than guest on a game show
you have met someone famous
lists // 0 comments
(utkast från 15 sep)
date: 2014-01-25 time: 17:22:29
im becoming so much more comfortable with myself and in sync with myself and my moods and i just feel like i have a place and im talking to girls at school now and they make me smile and the world isnt as scary as i made myself think, its actually so damn beautiful and there’s loveliness everywhere you just have to let yourself free of the ropes you tied around yourself and let yourself thrive and grow and explore and dance and spread your happiness and love and accept what the world brings you whether its good or bad just keep floating on!!!
deep thoughts and unpopular opinions // 0 comments
(utkast från 13 sep)
date: 2014-01-25 time: 17:18:26
i’m really sad and ugly and i just want to have fun and be happy i just want life to be fucking good you know? why is everyone having more fun than me??? why do i feel good during the day but then feel like my entire world is caving in at night??????? i suck. i want to believe things will improve/get more exciting but what if i just feel increasingly lonely and pathetic
why can’t i be like them?? ??? what makes me different/worse? why do i suck
is it stupid to think things will pick up/get better ?? what if things get better but i’m still me and i’m still woefully inadequate and thoroughly unhappy what happens then what do i do
what's life??? // 0 comments
1715
date: 2014-01-25 time: 17:15:12
i want broken bottles and hard liquor and scraped knees and broken nails and chewed-up lips and diet coke and fuck-me lipstick and nausea and spinning vision and bile and crushed glass and speed and hard eyes and no sleep and emergency room white-lights and bruises and cigarette smoke encasing my lungs and i want to feel like i’m floating and i want to go and lie down in the middle of the highway and i want to eat everything, everything now and more and more and more, and i want to be full and i want to be empty and i want to be happy and i want to be dead
deep thoughts and unpopular opinions // 0 comments
ja du
date: 2014-01-19 time: 00:19:22
elfenben
zinkvitt
lavendel
kornblå
smaragdgrön
isabella
khaki
olivgrön
bärnsten
ockra
sienna
terrakotta
rost
falu rödfärg
korall
scharlakansröd
cinnober
kastanj
vinröd
purpur
lists // 0 comments
15.32
date: 2014-01-18 time: 15:32:19
funderar på att skriva här igen.
deep thoughts and unpopular opinions // 0 comments