18.51
date: 2015-03-29
time: 18:51:00

i get headaches just by breathing the same air as you but i can't stop wanting to be around you because just by touching your skin i feel like flowers have bloomed in my chest
poetry /

.
date: 2015-03-29
time: 17:48:23

i have so many thoughts and feelings and i cant quite understand any of them at all
the voices in my head are getting louder and louder and i need your arms around me
poetry /

2105
date: 2014-09-28
time: 21:04:52

don't tell me that you love
me unless you truly mean it
they say that bad words hurt
but they never tell you
that good ones can hurt too
poetry /

2103
date: 2014-09-28
time: 21:03:09

everyone treats you like you're some
delicate flower
who will break with a single touch
but really i'm that flower
and you're the one who is jabbing me
with a knife
poetry /

2101
date: 2014-09-28
time: 21:01:48

it's so late that
the moon has been tucked
in the blankets of the sky
and looking up
reminds me how
i used to be tucked in your arms
but not anymore
poetry /

2256
date: 2014-09-19
time: 22:56:13

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN MEAN SO MUCH TO ME WHEN I DON'T MEAN A SINGLE THING TO YOU, YOU ARE ALWAYS ON MY MIND DAY IN AND DAY OUT AND IT IS EATING ME ALIVE I HAVE TRIED DROWNING THE THOUGHT OF YOU BUT NO AMOUNT OF VODKA WILL KILL THESE HORRIBLE THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW YOU WILL NEVER LOVE ME THE WAY I LOVE YOU AND HOW SHE'S SO MUCH PRETTIER THAN I AM I WISH I WAS ENOUGH FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME
poetry /

he left and my heart is still beating
date: 2014-09-19
time: 22:53:30

STOP ACTING SO BROKEN BY HIM HE IS A PILE OF BONES WRAPPED IN SKIN HE ISN'T WORTH LOOSING YOUR MIND OVER HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU HE NEVER DID AND BELIEVE ME YOUR NAME WAS NOT ON HIS TONGUE WHILE HER LIPS WERE AGAINST HIS HE DOESN'T THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN HE HEARS YOUR FAVOURITE SONG HE ONLY TURNS IT OFF BECAUSE HE NEVER REALLY LIKED IT ANYWAYS
poetry /

3:02 am, these crimson stained words are leaving bloody memories in my head
date: 2014-09-19
time: 22:50:55

BUT YOU CUT ME AND NOW WORDS ARE POURING OUT AND I CAN'T STOP BLEEDING THESE STUPID POEMS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FORGET BUT I CAN'T AFFORD TO REMEMBER ANYMORE
poetry /

2309
date: 2014-09-14
time: 23:11:58

man, i like you so much i see fucking stars when you smile
i always try to hide my big dumb goofy grin when i see you
i can't remember when we first met
i wish i did
i wish i could do it over again
so we both wouldn't forget
maybe it seems like we've just always
known each other
that sounds nice i think
i'm jealous of your shirt
it gets to sit so close
you don't feel shy
i just want to go to the beach with you
pick flowers with you
eat pizza with you
poetry /

how should a person be
date: 2014-09-14
time: 23:08:29

if i am honest
i can plant my grief
like basil in the garden
take some time for myself
and cook with the growth
i keep secrets from myself
keep bouquets from lovers who
couldn't remember my name
swallow my spit before i speak
i am so shy
my legs are bruised
i don't know how i got from there to here
marks on my skin tell my family i love them
heart like a chest of drawers yelling 'fill me'
i've been alone for too long
poetry /

People Become Distant
date: 2014-08-05
time: 09:22:07

I always just have to
Figure these things out
On my own.
Nobody ever seems
To want to let me know.
poetry /

relapse
date: 2014-08-05
time: 09:17:43

and on the really bad days
i put on your old sweaters
and i sit on the floor
and listen to the first playlist you made me
on the really bad days
i tuck your name under my tongue
and i don't say a word
i try to melt into the patterns on the carpet
and forget why i was trying to forget you
poetry /

go
date: 2014-08-05
time: 09:15:43

i know i fell in love with
rough fingers on raw skin
but my friends are tired of seeing
bruises on my shoulders
from where your lies hit me hardest
there's blood on your hands
that only i can see
and i still think i'll love you forever
poetry /

dazed
date: 2014-07-15
time: 23:17:00

i haven't slept in days because
every time i close my eyes
i see you there
and i can't tell if it's a dream
or a nightmare
i wear your old sweaters
around my house because
sometimes it's the only thing
that can stop my hands from shaking
but i swear to god
one day i'm going to set them on fire
i hate you
i wish that you'd stayed
poetry /

braver
date: 2014-07-15
time: 23:15:13

Do you remember that night in February
When we were sitting on your bed
And you were telling me about your family?
I should've told you I loved you then
Because the light from the streetlamp outside your window
Was painting your skin the color of sunsets
And my heart was screaming your name
And my skin was on fire
And I don't know why I didn't let you know
That I would've done anything for you.
We might have been perfect if I had been braver.
poetry /

simple
date: 2014-07-15
time: 23:12:40

there was no poetry in the way you destroyed me
only blood and broken bones
and misplaced pieces of my shattered heart
poetry /

2311
date: 2014-07-15
time: 23:11:14

it's fucking insane
how after i kissed you
i thought about it every day for 7 months
i put on lipstick
because i loved imagining
the way it would look on your face
i still remember how your breath tastes
i can feel it on my skin
i can feel the softness of your fingers
trace my hips
it's been 13 months
poetry /

2308
date: 2014-07-15
time: 23:08:49

i woke up petrified
my eyes were sealed shut
and i could feel every fiber in my lungs
expanding
but my limbs laid limp
i am stone
while my insides sink into my mattress
and i am drenched in heat
and artificial interactions
poetry /

worst
date: 2014-07-15
time: 23:06:36

two truths and a lie:
i love you
i miss you
i'm sorry
poetry /

1936
date: 2014-07-06
time: 19:36:42

I do not believe
in fresh starts. and yet,
I’ve read that skin cells regenerate
every twenty-eight days, that
you get new intestines
every forty-eight hours and
it takes twenty years for a
new heart. I’ve read that, in half a
lifetime, you can be a completely
new self.
I do not believe in fresh
starts, because memories do not
pile like lost dust in the corners of
my room, because words exchanged
do not split and reform and
fall away. my body is not the
one I was born with and yet
my thoughts are not forgotten.
I do not believe in
fresh starts, but I will clean
every dead cell from my self,
I will dust out my halls and burn
up my past, and I will try
again.
poetry /
