By now, you hit me like a cigarette. An addiction, a bad habit, a mistake. I know you're killing me but I just can't hold back. You circle around my chest and tie me up in you. I need you in my lungs and against my tongue. Even if I wanted you to go, they'd have to rip you from between my fingers.

 

I'm so sorry I can't make it better. And I've been trying for so long and I'm so sorry that nothing I say changes which way the wind blows and who leaves you

 

and who stays

 

I'm so sorry I can't make the ones you love, love you back.

 

I regret that I can't fix it.

 

If I could make the world spin backwards, you know I would. If I could make the time stand still, if I could mend your heart so it didn't split and shatter on the floor,

 

I'd have blood on my hands and a hole in my chest because I'd give it all to you.