I was Raised to be a Woman

I am twelve years old.

My mother hands me a book on puberty.

She asks if I have any questions and then

leaves. I do not say anything.

I do not know where to begin.

I scan the pink laced pages, their glossy print

sliding under my fingers tells me I have nothing

to be ashamed of. I am just growing

up. But the unspoken words of a stranger

are no comfort to my changing body.

Now I am 16. All throughout my childhood

no one spoke of love, consent, or pride. It was always

secondhand facts, given by textbooks and teachers.

I learned to bleed without pain,

ignore the hormones raging inside of me,

and when a boy told me he couldn’t tell when I had my period

to take it as a compliment. 

Our government has shut down arguing about whether

women have the right to birth control.

Some girls grow up believing that abstinence

and pregnancy are the only options.

Robin Thicke dressed in a suit and surrounded himself

with naked women. He pulled their hair and declared

how he knew they wanted it. They were good girls. He called it

a feminist movement. 

In 8th grade US History, my teacher preached of

women’s suffrage and how far we have come.

How equal we are today.

I spent this summer in New York. I saw the women

in heels and pencil skirts, heads held high.

I wanted to feel that beautiful. Until I heard men on the street

calling for me like they owned me. What little effort it would take

for their calloused hands to reach out

and make me

pay attention. I abandoned

my dresses, my makeup.

Tried to blend in.

1 in 6 American women have been the victim of sexual assault.

Less than half of those women feel safe enough

to report it. Of those reported, three percent of the rapists

spend a day in jail. 

I was raised to be a woman, but I am ready

for the definition to change. This body

I have been blessed with, deserves so much more.

It is the temple that houses the god within me.

We all have gods within us. So please,

Light the lantern by the door. Praise

in any way you know how,

dance, sing, speak. Let it shake the walls.

Tell the world you will not sit by

and watch these girls learn to carve themselves

open, the way we did, in the confusion

I am done with what the world wants me to be.

I am ready to be a woman.