There are days 
when the world 
spins two seconds slower,
and I choke on the 
goddamned love 
that has sneaked
its way into my mouth.

I see my life in two ways—
all bright and dazzling,
carved out of my 
moldy, childhood dreams,
and
static and noiseless,
suffocating me with the
tired reality of it all.

In those two seconds,
I could choose to be radiant;
I could grab your hand 
like it belongs to me
or flood words from my mouth
after all the calculated silences
I could never escape from.

I could do all this and more,
but instead,
I waste my precious seconds
on counting the fingerprints
she’s left on your skin.

Tell me, sweetheart,
do you know what it’s 
like to smother?